A Kinder, Gentler Halloween

Bank situation solved: 2 empty Polaner All Fruit jelly jars (it doesn't have high fructose corn syrup in it...can you send sypathetic thoughts to hubs? sometimes I think I drive him crazy when the grocery list has more do-not-buy notes on it than actual items I'd like to purchase for us to eat) washed out, de-labeled, slots punched in the lids. I decided I wanted the girls to see the money in their banks and thereby perhaps be motivated to save it. Homemade banks working for now!

Actual conversation between...um...our "friends" this weekend. Yes, our friends related this story to us. This in no way, shape or form happened in our car...you believe me, right??

Person #1: You do realize you put a plastic bag on a 7-year-old's head?

Person #2: You do realize you left a 7-year-old with a plastic bag on her head in the car while you picked up the hot-n-ready pizza and Crazy Bread at Little Caesar's?

Person #1: ...shutup...no more pizza for you

So what had happened was...S was Snow White and we used some of the Halloween hair color in a can to make her red/orange hair black. And, while this hair color seems semi-permanent on skin and bathtubs, it sits on hair like a fine powder threatening to "poof" off at the slightest provocation.

So in order to keep it under control on the car ride home from the fall festival at church one of the adults in her life may or may not have given her a Bi-Lo grocery bag to put over her hair.

And the other adult may or may not have left her and her 5-year-old sister (a red and yellow sunflower) in the car while picking up dinner at Little Caesar's. I have it on good authority that they were alone all of 10 minutes...and that they are both alive and well today...

Please don't call whoever gets called about kids alone in cars with plastic bags over their heads...my "friends" would be so bummed.

You're 3 feet tall and still pick your nose; you don't scare me...much

(Note: We want to get the girls started on an allowance, so they are going to need a bank of some sort for saving their quarters. These are $5 at Old Navy and are serious contenders, but then I start to think about it:

Ooo! Sparkly piggy banks! They'll love these!

Wait a minute...they are both going to want pink...and it's going to be a pain to try to keep up with whose pink bank is whose. Hmmm...maybe I make the pink one a special reward?...no, that could totally blow up in my face.

Ok, I'll get the pink sparkly one for myself, and I'll get silver and green for them...or would they like silver and gold better...

Why is this so hard! If only they had a purple one! Then I'd be set! Yeesh, this parenting thing is hard.

I still don't have banks for them.)


Oy, what a two and a half weeks it has been.

Friday, 10/2: S and C move in.

Monday, 10/5: S and C go to their new school and hubs and I suddenly become responsible for two little girls with HOMEWORK...I thought I was done with homework when I got that diploma a few years back...

Friday, 10/9: We celebrate one week with the girls with dinner at Pizza Hut! This is the first meal S and C have eaten outside of school or our house all week...this makes me happy! We are meanies and only give them water to drink, not the requested Mello Yello and pink lemonade...can you imagine?? Now relax, there will be plenty of time for sodas later...

Saturday, 10/10: We eat lunch at Sonic where they have their weekly desserts. S has a chocolate sundae and C has a strawberry sundae. We visit mom-in-law in the hospital. Her best friend is there and offers to watch the girls while we get more clothes from their house and buy school supplies. $84 later...we are appalled. C really needs 20 glue sticks?! Are they eating them for snack or something?!?! We buy 6 glue sticks, with 3 going with each girl. And when we get back to the hospital...C proudly brandishes the Dr. Pepper she's been given. See, I told you sodas would show up somewhere.

Tuesday, 10/13: I realize that I am reaching a breaking point. I haven't yelled or snapped at anyone yet, but I can feel its not far off. I start to take everything personally...I'm SURE S is taking 4 hours and 92 gallons of water to brush her teeth because she KNOWS how much it irritates me. C interupts me while I'm talking to the neighbor because she KNOWS steam will come out of my ears. I tell everyone who will listen that my full-moon transformation is about to happen and they better stop me or stand back. I pray...a LOT. I truthfully answer the woman who has been in the hospital for 3 weeks (mom-in-law) when she asks me how its going. Woman in Hospital is so comforting and encouraging...I feel like a selfish, whiny, brat. Dang it...

Wednesday, 10/14: I pour it all out to my mom, and she talks me down from the ledge. Lets me know it's ok to feel annoyed. Tells me not to beat myself up. The girls get in the car after school, and I am, very unexpectedly, a new woman. Go ahead, say my name 327 times, challenge each and every boundary I've given you, tell me a few fibs and definitely tell me how, since you've eaten chicken livers before and you don't have good taste, you really can't eat the mushrooms in the lasagna...I can take it.

Wednesday is not a breeze, but hubs and I handle it. Thursday morning is not a breeze, but hubs makes the lunches and has them waiting in the fridge, and we got to school early enough for me to walk C in...she'd been asking me to for 2 days.

Sunday, 10/18: We are finally ready for church only to look at the clock and realize we'd have to take the girls to their classes late as the current sermon series isn't appropriate for them (The Elephant in the Pew; this week's focus: pornography). I've done the late thing and its one thing for me to do it to myself, but I really really really want to avoid doing it to them, so we decide we aren't going. I'm feeling grumpy and guilty about this and I tell hubs I'd like for us to do something together to enjoy the beautiful fall day. Being the amazing hubs he is, he finds a local hiking trail all of 15 minutes from our house, and we spend a lovely couple of hours throwing rocks in the lake, picking up leaves, looking at colorful mushrooms and hiking through the woods in the gorgeous sunshine. My soul is recharged.

Can I just be a witness that God is good? Talking to wise people, praying like crazy and working together with my man results in postponed full-moon transformations and much happier Insta-Temporary Parents.

WE (using our huge network of support and leaning on God) CAN DO THIS!!

The ball is rolling...

Mr. Bouncy Ball!
Originally uploaded by moiht

...or bouncing, as it were.

We met with the guidance counselor at S & C's current school earlier today. The meeting went so well! She was very helpful:

--C is in montessori which has limited spots, and we wanted her to be able to return to montessori when they move back in with mom-in-law. Counselor said she didn't see that being a problem; yay!

--We wondered about the best way to ease them into living with us and going to a new school. I wondered about driving them an hour one way to their old school for a few days after they moved in with us. Counselor said since they know hubs and me and have stayed at our house, they would probably be fine starting in their new school right away. We'll drive them by the school this weekend to show them where they'll be, and they should be much more comfortable Monday morning. Yay!

We talked to the new school today, and they will be ready for the girls to start Monday. We meet with the counselor at the new school tomorrow afternoon to make sure everything is in place.

And tomorrow evening we'll be moving two little girls into our pink guest bedroom (the one with the snot on the walls).

Looking forward to the adventure!

The Ghost of Christmas (Presents) Yet to Come

(Picture: aMacHan)

I've been thinking ahead to Christmas...which is only 84 days away!

We don't always get S and C stuff for their birthdays and Christmas as they have so many toys already. In the past we have avoided giving stuff by giving experiences. One year we took them to Monkey Joe's; last year we took them to the Georgia Aquarium; I still owe S a trip to a tea room for her 6th birthday...and she turned 7 this past August...it's official: I'm the worst sister-in-law ever.

Anyway, I've been brainstorming what to give the girls for Christmas, and I think I've got it: a trip to see The Nutcracker Ballet!

Its in early early December, and it might be just the thing for S & C! They love all things pink and princess-y and The Nutcracker has all that plus some excitement, too.

(Picture: daviduweb)

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I mean, just look at this picture. What pink-princess-loving little girl wouldn't be beside herself with delight at a night of ballerinas in tutus?!?

I was introduced to the story of The Nutcracker very early in life, and I love the story, the ballet, the music, all of it to this day. I can see us getting all dressed up for the ballet and going somewhere for hot chocolate and dessert before...I would have loved that as a little girl! Shoot, I would that love that now as a big girl.

On the other hand the SC Children's Theatre is putting on the play Dear Santa, and it sounds pretty cute...and it could give the ballet a run for its money...

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But I'm just so excited about the Nutcracker!!

Great Expectations and other fantasies

(Picture: lovedaylemon)

Thank you so much for your encouraging comments on my last post. It's so cool to send something out on the web and have other people respond; it makes my day!! Thank you!

My mind has been racing making plans for the time S and C come stay with us.

I have such GREAT expectations for their time in our home. Here is a list of what I want to do:

-Set up routines: morning, after school, bedtime

-Cook together

-Let them choose a couple recipes each month to make.

-Give them household responsibilities appropriate for their ages (5 and 7).

-Read aloud a chapter per day from a chapter book most days of the week.

-Read them a bedtime story each night.

-Watch very little tv.

-Pray with them everyday.

-Learn about God every day.

-Feed them healthy foods for the majority of their meals with us (I'm expecting there to be a pizza night or two...or three).

-Engage them in some sort of physical activity most days of the week--walks around town, trips to the park, tossing a ball around...got any ideas for me??

-Encourage their creativity and their desire to learn (this is a bit vague...I need some concrete strategies).

-Listen to them.

-Chill out and enjoy them.

I feel somewhat hesitant to share all this with anyone because I hear parents so often say things like, "You'll see when you have kids of your own, " and giving the impression that its foolish to have expectations of doing much more than shoving food in mouths and playing chauffeur. I don't want to resign myself to the idea that there will be no time to have fun (like the kids in the picture above are having)!

Do I need a reality check? Do you have some advice or wisdom regarding day-to-day life with kids? I need it!!

God is good: Or "Seeing his hand in the crazy times"

(Picture by caity sparkles via Flickr)

So you see that last post, there? Where I talk about what a great weekend we had with some precious little girls? Yeah, that one. I wrote it last Monday and had it set to auto-post Tuesday morning. Ummm...

Those little girls may be coming to live with us for the next few months.

Their mommy broke her leg Monday evening. She is also Hub's mom and single mom to these two girls she has adopted from within the family.

When she got to the hospital she found out she was diabetic.

Surgery to put a plate and pins in the leg on Tuesday evening went very well. But they didn't like how fast her heart was beating. So Thursday they sent her to the bigger hospital nearby for a heart catheterization.

Friday during the heart cath they found blockage in the heart and immediately sent her in for emergency triple bypass surgery.

Her birthday was Saturday (see festive picture above).

She is doing very well. She got to talk to her girls by phone yesterday for the first time since that eventful Monday night.

When a leg is broken the patient walks using crutches or a walker, putting much of the weight on the arms and none of the weight on the broken leg for 8 weeks.

When a patient has their chest opened up for surgery they cannot put more than 5 pounds of weight on their arms for 6 weeks.

Her unbroken left leg needs to seize the day and really come through for her. I'm believing in YOU, left leg!!

Thankfully my God is a very big God, way bigger than the problem of figuring out rehab with only one weight-bearing limb.

My God takes the very bad situation of a broken leg and uses it to help doctors find diabetes and heart disease lying in wait, undetected, ready to do their worst when least expected.

My God prepared hubs and I for the possibility of taking care of two of the cutest little girls you'll ever see. I was driven to find out ways to make their weekend stay the best it could be. Now I know who was the Driver.

My mother-in-law, Hubs and I have been surrounded by love and support from our friends and family. So many people have been to the hospital to see her or wait with us during surgery. More people than we can count are praying for her. She'll need every prayer she can get.

She'll need a lot of fight in her to get through the coming weeks. But she can do it. Her God is bigger than everything she's about to face.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I see God working the crazy things that have happened these last few days to Mom-in-law's good because she has given her life to him, put her trust in him, and she loves him.

So the girls might be staying with us until their mom can take care of them again by herself.

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By the way, yesterday I discovered snot wiped on the wall of my pink guest bedroom right next to the futon bed where the girls slept...the futon that has a full box of tissues on the arm next to where their heads were. Bless their hearts; I will be discussing with them how that will never happen ever again.

Close Encounters of the Kid Kind

S and C in their Easter dresses April 2009. Picture by me.

Be warned: this post is definitely of the rambling discussion/analysis type.

This past weekend Hub's little sisters came to stay with us: S is 7 and C is 5. It has been over a year since they stayed last, and that last visit was more of a battle than a fun time with cute little girls. I was determined that this visit would be better.

I did my homework. We really like Supernanny Jo Frost, and we take notes for the future when watching her show; we used her house rules, naughty seat and bedtime routine. I went online and found some strategies for getting kids to eat food that is good for them. I also wanted to spend more time with them than I did last time, so I decided to involve them in whatever I was doing: meal prep, chores etc. I felt armed and ready.

And the weekend was great!

We went over the house rules as soon as we got home on Friday, and I only had to remind them once or twice about the rules the rest of the weekend. No one had to sit on the naughty seat all weekend. The bedtime routine worked very well, though I think I'd like to have a very small nightlight in their room next time and an option for separating them if they won't settle down and go to sleep.

When it came to mealtimes I used the philosophy I found in a comment on this Momversations blog post: We (the adults) decide what and when, they (the kids) decide if and how much. I also resolved to have them as involved as possible in making our meals because I know my palette expanded once I started working with ingredients and cooking for myself.

We made black bean and cheese quesadillas, hummus and pasta salad chock full of veggies. They helped cook on the stove top, practiced their cutting skills (supervised of course), used the microwave, used the food processor, tasted the ingredients. They were excited to be involved, and I was glad we could spend time together in a way that made all of us happy (I have forgotten how to enjoy the fine art of playing dolls, so a lot of time spent that way would be very hard on me).

There were zero mealtime battles this weekend. They were given a plate containing one or two bites of each of the foods we were having with the meal and told that they could eat if and what they wanted to, but anyone wanting seconds of anything had to present a clean plate. And there was no bribing with dessert because there was no way we were subjecting ourselves to those little cuties hopped up on sugar. They had about 3 ounces of chocolate milk Sunday morning and that was it for the sweet stuff.

Last night when we met Hub's mom to hand them over she said, "Kimberly, why are they wearing mismatched clothes!!" I told her that was one area I left to them; we were so strict otherwise we had to at least let them decide what to wear. And we were strict as far as I (a women who has no children of her own) can tell, but the boundaries resulted in a fun weekend in which they knew what was expected of them, and we were all free to enjoy each other.

Was it a perfect weekend? Goodness, no. Someone (I'm pretty sure I know who) drew on the car seat with white crayon; someone blew her nose on Hub's towel (after being told repeatedly to use a tissue, not her bare finger), lied about it and only admitted to it after a very calm, yet serious, heart-to-heart about trust and responsibility (as in once you blow your nose on someone's towel you need to put it in the clothes hamper and get them a new towel); they poked and bothered each other etc. Basically they were 5 and 7-year-old kids.

Was I perfect? Goodness, no. The one time when the naughty seat was not an option and the situation was particularly intense I threatened spankings on bare behinds unlike any spankings they had ever previously received. Hubs let me know later he thought that was a bit extreme. I agreed. I was very calm and spoke in even, measured tones when delivering this threat and thankfully they did not test me, but I'm sure I can come up with a better alternative should that particular situation come up again.

I told Hubs that while they have certainly matured since we last spent a lot of time with them, I'm pretty sure I have changed more than they have which was key to us having an enjoyable weekend.

As enjoyable as it was Hubs and I were definitely beat when it was all over...glad to see 'em come and glad to see 'em go :)